Letting go...

The last couple days, I've been feeling a bit anxious as I try to contemplate what direction my life is going. I am waiting on a response in regards to a job I interviewed for last week and I feel like it takes FOREVER to hear. Part of this anxiety, I'm sure, is because I am needing to be patient (which I'm not very good at) and part of it is because I want to know "yes" or "no" so I can move on. I don't like "being on hold".

But in some ways, I think God is using this time to remind me (yet again) that He is in control and I just need to let go and trust Him with where my life is going. His plans are certainly better than mine, right?

So, tonight I remembered this song, I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli... it certainly speaks to how I want to give up the life I've planned for what God has in store (and it does it to a catchy tune). This one is definitely going to be on my "frequently repeated" list for awhile... :)

My heart beats, standing on the edge

But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat

There’s no turning back

I’m letting go

Of the life I planned for me

And my dreams

I’m losing control

Of my destiny

It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith

Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown

Beyond my comfort zone

Giving in to your gravity

Knowing You are holding me

I'm not afraid

Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe

Feels like I'm falling and this is the life for me

The Gray of January

Today I realized that it is now nearing the end of January and I haven't posted more than twice this month! After all the excitement of December, I think January can often be a month of getting back into the normalcy of life and may not seem as "notable" as other times of the year. The house looks boring as the Christmas tree and lights come down. There are fewer exciting events to look forward to. I suppose it can seem similar to our weather here in Seattle... gray with a constant chance of drizzle.

Yet, I have to say that despite the lack of extremes this month (and rather more shades of gray) there have been blessings.

• We managed to fix our pickup's clutch without having to take it to a shop (meaning Chet spent weeks fixing it in our driveway... but it is running well again!), which saved us money. I'm pretty proud of him for accomplishing that!
• We are prepping for leading our marriage small group... praying for whoever may will be a part of it and excited to see how we are all going to grow from this experience.
• I got another job interview... just now waiting for an answer of whether I get it or not. I'm so hopeful and the job sounds interesting with a good work environment... we'll see!
• I've had more of a chance to catch up with friends, make yummy food and exercise... which feels so good!

I trying to constantly remember that just because I'm in a "gray" or routine month of life to look for the little blessings and to be thankful for them. Also, to remember that life doesn't always need to be exciting or filled with big events... those will definitely come sooner than we expect. :)

New Year

For myself (and I would imagine most people), each new year rolls around with hopes, dreams and goals. I don't typically make formal resolutions, but as Chet and I were driving home from Montana, we had lots of time to discuss what we desire for the coming year. Mostly, it involves making ourselves and our relationships stronger and healthier... challenging ourselves and each other to grow. Here are some things we thought about...

1. Growing in our faith walk. For me, I feel that a lot of this is fully give up control over my life daily and give it over to God as well as spending more time in prayer and the Bible. That's the brief blog version. :)

2. Deepening our marriage. We both want to spend more time praying for each other... aloud! Also, prioritizing date nights weekly... :)

3. Eating healthy and taking care of our bodies! I think that this means some more meal planning is in my future (not one of my skills). We are just going to make little healthy changes like well-rounded meals, less sweets and focusing on using fresh, whole foods. Tonight we had Spice Rubbed Chicken with Israeli Couscous and Spinach. Pretty healthy, only took 30 minutes to make, and quite tasty... let's keep this up!

4. Having people over to dinner more often. We have a great home in which to host a meal... we need to get out of our introverted shells and initiate more meals with people we love (especially on weeknights). If you want to be on this list, let me know!

5. Less TV on as background noise when I'm in the house along. Well, this isn't really one that Chet discussed with me but I need to stop filling the quiet evening with Chet at work with TV that I don't really care about. If I get lonely, I need to call a friend, read a book or start a new hobby!

6. Living our lives with abandon... treasuring each day and not just being satisfied with what is safe and routine. We want to experience life fully, try new things, see new places and just enjoy relationships with people in our lives!

Other things that we are hoping for this year is just God's direction for our lives... I'm a bit stumped on the PNP job thing combined with the desire to start a family. If you think of it, we are appreciating any and all prayer.

We'll see what joys and struggles this year brings! It will be exciting to see where God leads us!

Christmas Trip 2010 - Part 2

After a lovely time with the Kolar side of the family in Great Falls, we headed back over to snowy Missoula for more time with family and friends. Due to the busy time around the holidays, we hadn't gotten to see some of our dear friends in Missoula prior to Christmas! It was such a joy to spend time with them, share a meal or two, go up to the mountain and snuggle their sweet kids.

On Tuesday we got a chance to see an old friend of mine, Kendra, and have lunch with her and her hubby at the Staggering Ox... it was so good to see her and to catch up!

Then, that evening, Chet's mom had people over for "waffle breakfast" dinner... kind of a tradition which keeps adding small people to the group now! The kids were kind of my favorite thing to photograph. :)

Ella and baby Haven

Ella is such a little mommy! She is going to be the best big sister when her little brother arrives. She wouldn't let us take baby Haven away from her... instead she just kept gently holding her and trying to give put her binky in her mouth. It was the sweetest thing ever!

Chet looks pretty cute holding little Haven also... won't he be a cute daddy someday? :)

The group of all of us... love all these friends!

The next day, Chet and I went up to Snowbowl (with about a thousand other folks) to enjoy 15 inches of fresh powder! We snowboarded with a group of friends (well, they all skied) and had a lovely day! There was so much snow that it was FUN to fall down... all the powder just poofed up. We both agreed that was probably our best snowboarding day in a long time!

That evening, we had family dinner with all of Chet's immediate family, including our two cute nephews. We all opened presents (I got distracted and didn't take many pictures) but did manage to capture little Logan snuggling with Grandma Judy and Winnie the Pooh.

I guess finishing out the holidays was New Year's! We aren't the most wild and crazy people so I probably could have gone to bed earlier than midnight (especially since I had to work at 7am the next morning!) but we did go to our pastor's house for a chill party. Great company, lots of tasty snacks and a chilly walk up the rest of Queen Anne hill to see the fireworks from the needle! I enjoyed the fact that getting a good view didn't require crowds and crowds of people!

(Another couple in our group... liked the overall composition of the photo... they were pretty cute!)

Now that the holidays are over, it is time to break into 2011! Looking forward to see what it brings!